Monday, July 30, 2007

ARE YOU FULLY PRESENT IN THAT RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE ?

Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they are miles away even though they were sitting next to you?
They might have appeared to be listening but you could sense that they weren’t really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation.
We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively affected. In a marriage for example, intimacy is enhanced by feelings of connection and harmed when partners start feeling disconnected.

When a spouse is physically present but mentally absent, the partner will feel the difference.
Something important is missing. One of the ways you can show respect and care for your spouse is to give the gift of undivided attention.
Like wise you show a high self-esteem when you value connecting deeply with others.
It takes practice and disciple to pull your self back to the present moment when your mind jumps ahead at the deepest, most intimate level. Follow these five tips to be more present when you interact with your spouse.
Each interaction either adds a deposit to the intimacy bank or withdraws from it. * look directly at your partner when he/she is talking to you. This shows respect and will make it easier for you to keep focused.
* When your mind warders, gently re-direct it back to the present moment. Take a deep breath to help you stay anchored and cluttered.
* Ignore stray thoughts that reflect across your mind trying to distract you. Never give them attentions.
* If you are too distracted to concentrate tell your spouse politely. “It’s really important for me to focus on what you are saying I can’t seem to concentrate right now. Could we schedule a time to talk later today?”
* Keep the bigger picture in mind. You are investing time and energy into creating an intimate and excellent relationship with your partner.

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